The Truth About Feeling Happy
If sadness can turn to depression
maybe happiness
can turn to joy
The truth about how I’m feeling at this moment in my life makes me want to shut my laptop and not share with you. Seriously, my palms are beginning to sweat. I will soon be hit with guilt and worry. But in the spirit of telling the truth, here we go…
I’m happy. I feel like I’m having my cake and eating it too. Things are working out really well right now for me and my family. Everyone is good: healthy, stable, living really nice lives. I have beautiful days with my daughter, a part-time job that I love, new books on the horizon, a big trip planned in November, lots of love and support from the people in my life, a beautiful place to live, and a sound(ish) body and mind.
I am happy, and now I will explain the nervous aftershock I feel from admitting this so openly:
Let’s start with guilt (or is it shame?)…
Many people are suffering as I write these words. I am lucky. I am privileged. It’s not fair that I get to have this life and they don’t.
There is an overwhelming amount of injustice happening in the country I live in right now. It doesn’t feel like there should be room for happiness during this time in history.
If I say I’m happy, I worry it’ll sound like I live ignorantly and don’t care.
Next up, worrying about being misunderstood…
Just because I’m happy, doesn’t mean I don’t struggle or have hard moments. My life isn’t perfect.
Vulnerability is encouraged so much nowadays, but it can get negative, and that just doesn’t resonate with me.
If I say I’m happy, I worry that makes me unrelatable.
Here’s my take on happiness: If you’re feeling happy, seize the moment! Stop and soak it in. Own it! Time with such a fleeting emotion is to be cherished; a gift too special to turn your back on or doom and gloom over. Just let it be simple, like watching a beautiful sunset and breathing it all in while it lasts.
Zooming out, I can’t help but wonder what our world would look like if we met ourselves where we were at more; not worrying so much about how we’re coming across to others. I can only imagine a more balanced world, of humans showing up, feeling more connected with more energy to spare. I would even argue that we would have the bandwidth to do more for one another, to consider each other more deeply. And talking about happiness specifically, couldn’t we all use some more of it?
Zooming in, years prior to this one, I was really sad and facing a lot of unexpected and unwanted circumstances. Maybe that’s why this moment of happiness feels so sweet, a true “pinch me” moment? Whatever it is, I’m noticing it, savoring it and learning how to be open about it.
Wherever you’re at in life, whether it be hard, amazing, in the middle, or a combination, I wish you peace through it all and courage to show up as you are. I’m glad to be here with you, on this rollercoaster of life.
P.S. Since I’m not active on social media, I rely on the growth of this community to spread in a very organic fashion. If you have not already joined my email community, I invite you to sign up below. By joining, you will be the first to hear about new books, meditations and blog posts. I’ll also share the occasional aha moment that I’m facing. Additionally, I ask that you send this blog post to someone in your life who you think would enjoy it too. I’m glad you’re here and thank you for your support.
